So you are enjoying yourself one day just minding your own business when a guy approaches you with all smiles and confidence cranked up to full blast. He then tries to hit on you by giving you the best pick-up line his small brain can think of. What would you do if the guy who approached you is the kind of guy that could be the very reason why lesbians exist? Here are samples on how some women handled an unwanted situation. Consider this as our online dating tips to you.

Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.”
Man: “So, wanna go back to my place?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”

The most memorable rebuttal to a turn down (used by the guy who used to live across the hall from me in residence) when he asked girl to dance and she refused:
Man: “Want to dance?”
Woman: “No, thank you.”
Man: “Don’t thank me, thank God somebody asked you.”

Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”
Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”

Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “Female impersonator.”

And here’s one including the correct snappy return.
Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized.”

A girlfriend of mine, while she was in college, once had a graying man in his 60’s approach her in a club with the line, “Where have you been all my life?”
She took one glance at him and said, “For the first half of it, I probably wasn’t born yet.”

A friend of mine came up with a very quick response over vacation. We were walking down the street and I glanced at a girl who had just walked by. She turned around and said to me, “What are you looking at?”
My friend, walking next to me came to the rescue, “He thought you were good looking, but he was mistaken.”

Hope you enjoyed our jokes for today and please enjoy the rest of your weekend. This is your Online Date Man saying, Happy dating everyone!

A guy and a girl met at a bar. They got along so well that they decided to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and then washed his hands. He then took his pants off and washed his hands again.

The girl watched him and said, “You must be a dentist.”

The guy, surprised, says “Yes … how did you figure that out?”

The girl says, “Easy… you kept on washing your hands.” One thing led to another and they made love. After they were done, the girl said, “You must be a great dentist.”

The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Yes, I sure am a great dentist… How did you figure that one out?” The girl says, “Easy… I didn’t feel a thing!”

Hope you like our online dating joke for the day. This is your online date man saying, happy dating!

They say that laughter is the best medicine. If your heart is aching because you got rejected for, say, the 25th time, don’t worry, there are plenty of fish in the ocean. Here’s my online dating advice to you, take a dose of these jokes and never call me in the morning. For sure, after a few good laughs you’ll be back on your feet and face as many rejections as you can until you get that “yes” you’ve been waiting for.

What Women Say (And What They Really Mean)
I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of every banjo-playing geek on “Hee Haw.”)
There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You are one Jurassic geezer.)
I’m not attracted to you in that way. (You are the ugliest dork I have ever laid eyes upon.)
My life is too complicated right now. (I’m waiting for a rich sugar daddy.)
I’ve got a boyfriend. (I’d rather stay home alone.)
I don’t date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn’t even date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building.)
It’s not you, it’s me. (It’s not me, it’s you.)
I’m concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring as my job has got to be better than dating you.)
I’m celibate. (One look at you and I’m ready to swear off men altogether.)
Let’s be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and fall in love with.)

What Men Say (And What They Really Mean)
I think of you as a sister. (You’re ugly.)
There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You’re ugly.)
I’m not attracted to you in that way. (You’re ugly.)
My life is too complicated right now. (You’re ugly.)
I’ve got a girlfriend. (You’re ugly.)
I don’t date women where I work. (You’re ugly.)
It’s not you, it’s me. (You’re ugly.)
I’m concentrating on my career. (You’re ugly.)
I’m celibate. (You’re ugly.)
Let’s be friends. (You’re ugly.)

I hope these jokes took away the pain in your heart. If not, there’s plenty more where these jokes came from. Just click the link and give yourself a joke overdose until your heart feels better.