I believe dating is also a numbers game; the more you date the more chances of you finding the guy you want to spend your life with. As Billy always tells me, “collect and select”.
Today, I’d like to talk about the unforgettable things I have experienced in my past dates. No matter how I desperately tried to block them in my mind, they still haunted me like the eerie ghosts of Christmas. That is, until I learned how to embrace them and use as a reminder on what type of people I must be wary of and make me a better dater to boot.
My first online date wasn’t bad at all, but we didn’t click either; though we had a good time at least. My second date was a nightmare. It was like being subjected to a brainwashing session for 2 long hours. One minute with that guy seemed forever; imagine the trauma I had to go through for two hours. All he did was talk about himself. He was boring and manipulative. He was like this, he was like that, and my ears almost bled hearing all the great things about him and his achievements (which looked like fabricated anyway). He was flaunting everything he had. From his iPhone to his designer duds. He even showed me the garter of his underwear, for crying out loud, just to show me that he was wearing authentic Armani briefs (Ugh. Another point off. I’m a boxers gal). He even told me that he only uses Armani, Calvin Klein, or Helmut Lang underwear. By then, I imagined stabbing him with my fork and making it look like an accident. At least he paid for the bill. But when we finished, he called a cab, which I thought was for me. But lo, he shook my hand and zoomed away with my ride.
My fifth online date was frustrating. I dated a kid. Well, not actually a kid, but a man who still thinks he’s a kid. He’s got no job, he’s quite a slob, and he still collects toys. We talked about comics (or he talked about them, mostly) and movies that were adapted from — guess what?– comics. And, yes, I paid the bill since he’s got no job anyway. I suddenly realized that these kind of guys have no right to date. Grrrr…
Now, let me tell you about my most irritating date experience before I finish this blog. I got stood up! Me? I’d rather face a jerk or an obnoxious douchebag, than being stood up. I was waiting for hours, and no one approached me. After 3 cups of coffee (thanks for the refills) and a bagel, I decided to storm out of the coffee shop and not wait for that tool anymore. After two days, he sent me a message of apology. He said that he totally forgot about the date because something came up. Well, I have a Blackberry and so does he, according to him, and I’m just a text away. So it was goodbye before we even started and I moved on to the next guy in line.
Listen ladies,if I only had one piece of online dating advice it’s that you should be ready for the worst dates to come — it is part of the territory. Consider these jerks as obstacles you have to step over before you can get the prize. If you stop dating just because of a couple of stray a-holes, then you might not get to meet the guy of your dreams. Remember, it’s a numbers game. The more dates you go through, the better the chances of meeting Mr. Right — just like I did. Have a great day sisters, and happy dating.
